Pricey Abby: My husband is selecting marijuana over our marriage

DEAR ABBY: I’ve been with my husband for seven years, and I’m uninterested in having the identical battle day by day. He smokes marijuana, and I hate it. It has been a relentless battle for years. We tried remedy, which helped for some time, however he goes again to smoking behind my again. We tried to achieve a compromise that he smoke solely after a sure time of day, however it nonetheless results in fights.

He shuts me out when he’s doing medication and says I don’t care about his happiness as a result of it’s one thing he enjoys, that I’m taking it away. I like him a lot, however I hate medication and don’t like who he turns into when he’s smoking.

I wish to have a child, however I’m uncomfortable with medication being in the home. I really feel like I can’t belief him to be alone with a child when he’s excessive. I don’t wish to depart him, however I can’t take it anymore. Having the identical battle day by day is exhausting, and it’s had a extremely damaging influence on our marriage. I would like him to decide on me over this, but when I give him an ultimatum, he’ll hate me. What do I do? — ANTI-DRUG IN ILLINOIS

DEAR ANTI-DRUG: Give your husband that ultimatum and pack your baggage. When you want the daddy of your baby not have a marijuana behavior and he can not stop, then, as a lot as it’s possible you’ll love him, this individual isn’t The One for you. Sorry.

DEAR ABBY: I’ve learn your column for years, incessantly taking recommendation you present to others and making use of it to my circumstances. I’ve developed a mutual bond with a girl who’s 30 — 28 years youthful than myself. She’s a waitress at a diner I frequent. I’ve seen her youngsters develop over the previous six or seven years. We’ve got had many significant conversations and shared our highs and lows. She’s naturally pleasant.

Three or 4 years in the past, she started sharing informal facet hugs after I arrived. I by no means ask for them. Over the past 12 months, these hugs have turn out to be extra intimate, not in a sexual means — only a deeper bond of friendship. We often instantaneous message when she’s off work, however I don’t see her socially.

Recently, she has been teasing that she’ll be my subsequent ex. I reciprocate the flirting and teasing. I consider there’s a mutual attraction. If not for the age distinction, which I’m OK with, or the worry of inflicting points with our friendship, I’d ask her out. Societal taboos weigh closely on my thoughts, and I’m pragmatic. Ought to I or shouldn’t I? Or am I studying an excessive amount of into our friendship? — UNSURE IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR UNSURE: Not having witnessed the chemistry between the 2 of you, I couldn’t say. Nonetheless, nothing ventured, nothing gained. The following time you see her, after a type of “extra intimate” hugs, inform her teasingly that you’ve got been fascinated about her remark that she’ll be your subsequent ex and ask if she’d wish to have dinner with you someday. Her response will let you know if in case you have been studying an excessive amount of into the friendship.

Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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