The 41-year-old, who has appeared on 4 of the ABC franchise’s reveals, was requested about how he offers with critics throughout an episode of the Call Her Daddy podcast. And whereas he mentioned that he thinks “the show has done better” with regards to providing assist to contestants struggling with their psychological well being, Viall admitted that he and different alums of the franchise weren’t supplied a lot when it got here to dealing with negativity and hatred that adopted.
“Alumni really lean on each other,” Viall defined, noting that he is turn into shut buddies with Ben Higgins after the 2 have been on the identical season of The Bachelorette. “We went through it, we relate to each other and we’ll call each other especially when we’re like, ‘Man, f*** I’m struggling. I’m caught down a rabbit hole looking at shit people are talking about me.'”
Though the present famously has villains and fan favorites on every season, Viall expressed that it has been damaging to be subjected to individuals’s opinions of him whether or not favorable or not.
“The thing is if you read any comments and you don’t know any of these people, if you start reading the positives and you start believing it, it validates comments in general and that subconsciously means you have to believe the negative stuff. And then you’ll go down that rabbit hole and it’s just such a toxic thing,” he defined. “What other people think of us is none of our business, but we’re exposed to everyone’s opinions of us.”
For Viall, who mentioned he is beforehand put a lot of effort into leaving a good impression on others, making an attempt to realize unanimous acceptance and assist from audiences was detrimental to his psychological well being.
“Especially my first season I was the villain and I got a ton of criticism and I would meet people in person and so they’d be like, ‘Oh my god you’re so much different than what I expected. You seem nice or you’re taller than I thought,’ whatever the f***. And so I kind of became obsessed with meeting as many people as I could and then I realized, I’m just trying to convince everyone to like me and it was such an empty feeling. It kind of started reminding me of like in my twenties when I was dating,” he defined. “Going on The Bachelor for me was like a relapse.”
Viall went on to clarify that he spent his twenties “chasing love, chasing relationships” after rising up with the instance of his mother and father’s long-lasting marriage. “I felt like I needed that validation that I was gonna be a good partner,” he mentioned. As he grew up, there have been components of that he needed to unlearn to be able to truly be higher in relationships. However in the end, the present introduced it out of him once more.
“Everything I learned and taught myself about controlling my ego and not chasing validation, that was all out the door. And so then I went into this world and fell in love, I mean I had real feelings, and it just threw me because when I got out I felt like I had relapsed back to the person I tried so hard and put so much work into getting out of,” he mentioned.
Viall’s appearances within the franchise got here to an finish after main the twenty first season of The Bachelor, the place he bought engaged to Vanessa Grimaldi. After ending their relationship in August 2017, Viall defined that he in the end turned snug with being single. When he started to hang around with his now girlfriend, Natalie Pleasure, who slid into his Instagram direct messages, their 18-year age distinction was his largest concern.
“At first, it was something I think I was having a lot of anxiety about. Are we gonna be compatible? And I think early on that was part of the things I would worry about. But the more I got to know her, the more I was just going to her for advice or just checking in with her. I just felt like we met each other on the same wavelength and I always felt like she was my equal,” he defined. “So other than that, it really didn’t affect. But earlier on it was something I had to get over. And it was a me problem.”
Viall mentioned Pleasure “knew I was self conscious about it” and made efforts to remind him that the age gap wasn’t a issue. In the end, the best way he spoke about her with buddies made him notice it did not matter.
“I always remember talking to certain friends and I would be like, wishing that that gap didn’t exist because I would feel less nervous about it. I’d always just talk through all the things that I loved about her or that she would do for me,” he mentioned. “I’m a big personality. I don’t always feel like people, regardless of age, I can connect with. And with her, I never felt that disconnect.”
Need life-style and wellness information delivered to your inbox? Enroll right here for Yahoo Life’s newsletter.